In terms of sentence structure and grammar, the essay is generally clear and concise. While the essay does provide some examples of jealousy and its consequences, it could benefit from more specific evidence to back up its claims. In terms of focus, the essay could benefit from more direct quotes from the story to support its claims. Similarly, the final paragraph raises interesting questions, but it does not provide a clear answer or a summary of the essay's main points. The second paragraph provides a thesis statement, but it is not clear where the essay is going or how it will support its argument. The first paragraph briefly introduces the story and its use of metaphorical language, but it does not provide a clear thesis statement. In terms of organization, the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Even though her classmates feel guilty now, they cannot take back what they did. For seven years, the sun is gone, and she never saw it. “…She’s still in the closet where we locked her.” Due to their extreme jealousy and hate, they have taken away the only thing that had connected Margot to her homeland. It is not until they are back inside that they remember. However, when the children get back to the room, the sun comes out, and they all run and play until the rain starts again and the sun is gone. The children are happy and not even a little guilty about what they have done. “They surged around her, caught her up and her… a closet, where they slammed and locked the door”. As a result of all of this, the other children push her into a closet before the teacher arrives. Furthermore, they are even more jealous of the fact that she might be going back to Earth with her parents soon. They knew that “She had come only five years ago from Earth, and she remembered the sun…” They are mad that she had something that they never did, and when she talks about the sun, they are jealous and angry. While her class is waiting for that moment, Margot stands apart from the others, because she knows that they are jealous of her. On Venus, the sun is hidden behind a continuous downpour, and is only visible for one hour every seven years. I think that an important theme in this story is that jealousy can be dangerous and can hurt people. Surrounded by children who have never seen the sun, Margot feels lonely and depressed, and the children hate her, mostly because they are jealous. Margot is a girl who has come from Earth to a civilization built on Venus, and Venus does not have a sun like Earth does. You would probably feel like Margot, a character in Ray Bradbury’s dystopian short story, “All Summer in a Day”. But suddenly, it is gone, taken away, and replaced with something horribly different. Imagine that you had something, something that was always there when you awoke, that you saw and lived with every day.
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